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July 13 relate the ineffable, see the invisible, understand the incomprehensible it's Peter Frowning's birthday today, three days after mine. when i was cleaning for my house party, i bumped into the book about american pop culture he gave me when he returned to China. i was 21. i was dreaming about going to california. peter, plus another peter, launched propaganda onto me, in different ways, both powerful, persuasive and overwhelming. those colourful summers of my youth with romantic dreams. peter was there giving me laughter and courage and, of course, stupid GRE words. life was slow and deliberate. and the paths on campus, with bright yellow gingko tree leaves standing against azule sky. he witnessed my joy, my confusion, my hope, my frustration, my love, my disappointment, my effort, my struggle. he was there when i needed a listener, a guider, a helper, a joker, or someone i could take a walk with. i went to britain. now when people talk about US and A, i sneer and become cynical. but on this day, without any of the negative prejudice, without my once frenzy, i see in me that rolling-tongue accent, the tortilla in albuquerque (impossible to spell), the sunshine in california, the to-be-realised promise of a car ride around LA, the bravery, the optimism, the laughs, the gin in the fridge, the new double-function glasses, the 'get the hole out of here' email adress (ha), the lesson about pajama and newspaper sunday morning, and my favourate -- the curse words.... bring it on! now i am 28. peter is still the same peter i saw him last. i was standing at the corner of his hotel, looking at him in a distance, him standing in front of a taxi, surrounded by friends, whom were genuinely sad for his departure. i stood in a distance because i didn't believe in goodbyes. i was sure it wouldn't be long to see him again; it would be as easy and casual as he became a part of my life. he wept with the friends. he for the last time looked around, not knowing i was at the corner. then he got in the taxi. i stood there, after the taxi was long gone. Comments (14)
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